Category Archives: funny

Jack And The Giant Headsplitter

Wherefore doth mine head hurt so? Pain und schmerz, ein und das gleich. I am having trouble thinking as the words pour forth. Please enjoy the poem friends, I hope it more enjoyable to read than to feel.

Headache

Pass, pass, pass the test.

Look around and find no rest.

Surely there into the pot,

there it goes,

the lemon zest.

My head so round,

it pounds again.

I find no time

and can’t tell when.

Bleed again into the sea,

lining the ballast I can see,

my life again it flashes there.

If only now I had some tea.

Fe fi fo fum,

drown your sorrows in some rum.

It feels though the giant stomps upon my rigid skull

as beanstalks grow in through my ears.

Car is stopped.

I’m out of gas.

An Old Ritual

Last night I partook in an old ritual. One my ancestors may have recognized. As an observer I felt more than I can explain, oddly enough. There were not many parts, but there was much fun to be had and many friends to be made. This I think I understand. The profound effects of a ritual always lie in the social aspect for me, the actual God or Gods taking the backseat in my mind. I think I’d quite like to do it again.

Regent of Hearts

I’ve met some great boundless one so far

Who told me how the world’s not so hard

Who filled my heart with no canard

That one who tells stories much like a bard

A sing-songy voice

But not by their choice

I of course must rejoice

They think of me more than a shithouse Joyce

Of gumdrops and lilypads

A fantasy land

Of good moms and good dads

There in that castle just by the sand

Idyllic machination

Psychadelic fascination

A world so full of recreation

And creation

A world so fully embraced the Mad

Thereby, The Window

I sit here at this table by the window. I wonder what to write. Another busy day today. Painfully out of sight. I wish to be so found, so desired, as to be the object of such constant praise but at the same time, no, I wish to slink back into the shadows and watch them all walk by. To be apart from it all. How does one reconcile these alternate desires? Someday I’d like to be the one that knows. Please enjoy the poem today, friends. I wrote it just for you.

Table by the Window

Do I ever know what to write?

The very thought

It feels so trite

Something that so seemingly cannot be taught

I’m finding that i think of you a lot

My heart so burns with numbness

I wish that i could go away and find that wardrobe

And be with mister tumnus

For now I sit and stare

At faces seem so bare

A thousand different things to fear

Shed but not a single tear

No sadness left to turn

From that torrent to slow burn

I’m finding now it’s hard to earn

A place now to discern

What option is the best

Why yes! You might ask

“What options might you have?”

Oh, wouldn’t You like to know?

War Were Declared

Morning. I really don’t have anything to say today. With the news of the largest breakout of war in Europe for 80 years, I find myself at a loss for words. Here’s a poem that doesn’t make any sense. Maybe it’ll bring joy to your little sphere of influence too. Amusez-vouz bien, mes amis.

Alice Cooper, Music Guy

alice cooper’s an anthropologist

he knows all about milwaukee

and the surrounding areas

alice cooper’s the steve carell of musicians

look at his face

just… the way it goes

alice cooper’s eternally sixty

a deal with the devil it would seem

except he accidentally wrote a “+30”

alice cooper’s got the makeup

nothing he could ever do would shakeup

just how fucking cool that guy is

I don’t actually know very much about Alice Cooper 

outside of Wayne’s World 

so if he’s different

that is not on me