Category Archives: Self-doubt

Do You Have An Answer?

Afternoon, folks. Hoping everyone is having a lovely Thursday. It feels wonderful out. Bit windy though. I am having a pretty good day, all things considered. Hard fought, I think. Do you ever feel like you just can’t remember something you should? Some things that you should? Like it’s not even on the tip of your tongue anymore, but it’s just been wiped from your conscious mind. A blockage, rather than a haze? Locked away inside a vault in the castle of your mind? Find the key, win the prize.

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An old friend

Come to see me again

“It’s been a while,”

Spoken knowingly.

“Can you remember?”

Not anymore

“Kind of,”

I lie.

“Remember when we…?”

I can’t

“Of course I do,”

Slithered through gritted teeth.

Sitting still upon a precipice

Beady eyes inside a carapace

Try so desperately to keep the pace

Look down and see my untied shoelace

Ataraxian dreams sail breadth of mind

And probe for gold in hearts of mine

But why can’t I remember?

It doesn’t seem like so far away.

Outta Time?

It seems I’ve always got more time. Always got something to look forward to. Never let myself run out of time. The clock is always ticking, or is it? Always seeing a way forward, gotta avoid the obstacles!

Just a Couple

Ephemeral feelings of floating

Wasn’t sure, never sure

Someone speaking, someone gloating

Doctor, please… Have you the cure?

Head spinning

Don’t be late

Little Alice, down the hole, hair is thinning

You, my friend, are missing a very important date

Needed somewhere

Never there

Looking down, a single tear

Sew it up, up the stair

Spooling wire

Always tired

Hear the spirit arcing through

Think of someone, couple’s two

Heart of Stone, Breast of Glass

So you’ve looked upon the very thing I spoke of before? So you’ve made the effort? You’ve seen this heart of stone and found it wanting? Wanting what? Where’s your answer? Where’s mine? I can’t tell you the right one, but I’ll certainly tell you one:

Alchemist

Songs float around my head

Think of words they’ve said

Lying wide awake

Transmute gold from lead

Many times you are warned

Many times we are torn

Pricking simple sentences

From the base of a thorn

From the heart, a sliver shorn

Ein Herz aus Stein

A heart of stone

Final patch’s been sewn

To hide away the chiseled heart so far from home

Sing your somber songs

Pray upon the peddled pillory

Climb inside the cold confessional

Not so private… not so safe

Between you and He

A bet you’re willing to make?

Challenge must you undertake.

Could You Find It In Yourself?

Afternoon, compadres. Look inside. What do you see? You can tell me. You can trust me. I am as I have always been. A man in a box, a man outside a box, who knows? Juxtaposed, contradiction, opposition… What do you do when you can’t choose just one? When you have to make a choice? Choose both. Find peace within yourself by making peace with yourself. Maybe that’ll even work. For now, I’m just talking. Please enjoy, most esteemed compatriots.

Little Prince

blithering, blathering, blubbering child

don’t you see, don’t you care?

it’s been a long time since he smiled

your little prince has nothing to wear

sitting, swearing, scaring man

lying to me, lying to you

lying in the sun, working on your tan

your boy’s gone out and formed a plan

you don’t get to be

a part of this

don’t you see

you’re no longer on the list

reconciliation

what’s that mean?

conciliation

on you i knew i could not lean

seeing, staring, watching all you do

from that very early age he knew

plotting as he grew

all the ways to get away from you

blithering, blathering, blubbering man

don’t you see, don’t you care?

your little boy’s gone out and become a man.

Reminisce and Recall

Afternoon. Nothing I write here feels quite right. That’s about how I feel right now. Like I’m trying to remember something but I can’t quite do it. I can’t quite manage to find the room that memory lies in, walking down the halls of that castle in my mind, seeing all those forgotten portraits and paintings of things I’m hiding away. Seeing the door at the end of the hall that I know not to open. I don’t think I’m ready for what’s inside.

Dreams and Memories

Fading fast to sleep

Try, try again

Try and take the leap

Think of birds, a wren

Owls on the walls

Hooting, hooting

Picking at my flaws

A path by a pond

Fallen trees

Memories far away

And closer still

Too many pieces

Not enough glue

Renew the leases

Not something new

Panthers playing rock n roll

Dancing to the music

Lying next to vampires

On the floor

Little whining dogs crying at the door

Bring me back to Zion

Promised land to die on

Make me tea from the dandelion